Dear Ben, you smart cookie,
Only moments after I got into podcasts, I had to stumble over yours, of course. It was as if you had this light shining around you. But this might have been only a hallucination from the mushroom coffee I had consumed earlier. You are supposed to take just any mushroom, boil it in instant coffee and drink it, right?
Or maybe not.
Getting up, HRV, Yoga and Stuff
After hours and hours of listening to you and your amazing guests, who are all also smart cookies, you inspired me to change a few things in my life. Unfortunately, that was the trap you set. Because of you, I had to spend a lot of money, simply to get my day started… at 4:25 in the morning.
That’s when I get up and check my HRV with the eliteHRV app (Android – Apple) and this POLAR HR sensor (and there goes some money). The app tells me that I am good to go and hit the gym hard (or if I should rest). But that has to wait. First I do some yoga to get things flowing and afterwards I meditate and keep thinking about the juicy drink that is going to hit my mouth soon, with lots of greens and supplements (and there goes some more money).
After you talked about the benefits of lean muscle gains in athletes having ATP and HMB as part of their supplement regimen, I totally went crazy and gave it a go. I lost a lot of money here and gained a solid 2,5 kg – of lean muscle mass, that is. On the way to my gym, I am sad because I don’t have the latest Nike gear to bring me to the fitness edge, but that’s fine because I can still monitor my HRV and that’s cool.
Actually, I don’t have any idea what I am doing and my e-mail account thinks the same way and suggests that I join the eliteHRV online class. Of course, I hit the “I’m in” button instantly when I see you’re part of this group of exclusive endorsers. And there goes another paycheck. Thank you, Ben, now I still don’t know what I am doing, I feel stressed and that weird get fit guy tells me to breathe in 666 different versions…
Plants are your friends!
The amount of stress and all the inflammation caused by ongoing physical and mental stress can be relieved. All I need is some schizandra, rhodiola and of course ashwagandha. I totally fell into that trap, too, but I am all relaxed and chill. It could also be the combined yoga-sauna session after my workout that has that effect, who knows, but it doesn’t kill me (yet), so that’s a win. I am not so sure if the 3 minute cold shower that I am about to take will be so much win, though.
Thanks to you, people look even weirder at me than already. While at work, I listen to brain wave altering songs to get into flow and do plenty of work. My colleagues hate me for it, as I get things actually done and miss calls because I can’t hear a thing. HRV is running and looking funky, but flow is flow.
Cooking for Health
At home all I want to do is have some food, I am really deep into nutrition and just want to fry my skinny chicken in canola oil until I remember that I can’t… so I have some chicken liver with lots of mushrooms and grass-fed butter instead. To be on the safe side I do some ancient yogi work and add turmeric and black pepper to the recipe. There goes the rent, but it’s totally worth it as I know I will feel great when I get up tomorrow, running through my day, listening to podcasts, getting better, smarter, fitter on a daily basis.
The worst thing about it isn’t even that you cost me all that money and that it works, but that you make me crave cookies!
Thank you, Ben, thanks a lot. There goes my diet… but I still love you!
While I don’t get anything from this article, I have affiliate links to Amazon. If you buy through those links I will get some kickback payments. This helps me to keep this blog up and running.
Besides that this article was inspired by Ben Greenfield who published a contest on Facebook. He asked to get smashed in the face in a funny and uplifting way. What you just read is my attempt to that and to win this contest of course! In the end, it was also a parody on myself and I enjoy taking myself not too seriously.
I hope you liked it and had a few giggles here. Winning or not, I enjoyed writing this article and with all the weird craziness of Ben. He seems – from afar – like a super cool guy and he really knows his stuff.
Feel free to share this article everywhere. Let Ben and the rest of the world know that you want me to win because I am amazing. 😉